


Would You Call That Love

by Red0313



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red0313/pseuds/Red0313
Summary: Scully wakes up to her period for the first time after her failed attempt at in vitro.Scully and Mulder have a fight at the office. When Mulder shows up on her doorstep later, they talk about things.It’s smutty but in character, for the most part.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

Today was the day that I dreaded. I knew it was coming. I am a doctor, after all. I suppose I just didn’t realize how much it was going to hurt, literally. I woke up in the middle of the night last night to terrible cramping. When I went to the bathroom, I saw what I already knew was coming. I had started my period.  
  
It’s my first period after Mulder and I had tried and failed with in vitro fertilization. Mulder had agreed to father the child I longed to have, but it didn’t take. Getting my period was another slap in the face. It was a reminder of my infertility.  
  
When I woke up for work, the cramps had only gotten worse. But, it’s not like I could’ve called in sick. I had to go. I needed to work. I couldn’t sit at home all day and wallow in self-pity. The world was going on. I was either going to keep going with it or give up. And, I knew what I had to do.  
  
When I got to the office, I forgot my badge in the car. I had to make my way all the way back to the parking garage. Then, I spilt coffee on my shirt. Before I even sat down at my computer, I found a tear in my nylons. Today was not my day. I felt like curling in a ball and crying. But, that also was not an option.  
  
Mulder was in the office, when I arrived. He was more chipper than usual, and that pissed me off a bit. Don’t ask me why. I prayed to the Gods that he didn’t have an out of town case for us. I would be just fine with paperwork for the week.  
  
“Good morning, Scully,” he threw at me. Obviously he was already on his second cup of coffee. Honestly, does this man have a life?  
  
“Hey, Mulder. What’s the plan for today,” I timidly asked. I was afraid he was going to tell me to go back home and pack some warm clothes for the unforeseeable future. He does that.  
  
“Looks like we are stuck doing paperwork. Skinner says we are slacking with our expense reports and behind on other paper work,” he shrugged, toying with a paper clip. He looked like he had no intention on working today. I was going to have to carry the team.  
  
“Fine. Let’s get to it than. I don’t want to be stuck here all day,” I snapped. I walked over to the filing cabinet, knowing his eyes were following me the whole way. He was trying to figure me out. I wasn’t hiding my irritation.  
  
“What’s eating you? Did you not get your beauty sleep last night,” he smarted back, clearly not realizing that I was hormonally pissy today. What can I say? Cramps make me very unreasonable.  
  
I snapped my head back so quickly, needing to hold onto the file cabinet to ground myself. My shoulders squared. “You want to know what my problem is. I will tell you my problem!”  
  
He gestured for me to continue. “Please, don’t let me stop you, Scully.”  
  
“Fine. Let’s start with the expense reports, shall we? I am sick and tired of you messing them up on purpose. The ladies upstairs keep sending them back to me to fix. I know you’re doing it on purpose. It’s beneath you, really. Stop it, Mulder.”  
  
“You are just now noticing this. Nearly seven years and you’re just catching on to that one,” he chuckles in wonderment, putting a pencil between his teeth. I want to shove that pencil down his throat.  
  
I slam the cabinet shut, throwing the file down on the desk. “No. It’s been a very slow build up, and I am tired of being your secretary.”  
  
“Scully,” he breathed out. “I never thought of you as my secretary,” he firmly stated. He sat up straight and looked me in the eyes. Now I have his attention. I rarely act out of line, and I could tell his curiosity was peaked.  
  
“You do, though. I am also not your bookkeeper. I’m not your sidekick. I sure as hell am not your wing man,” I lamented. “And another thing,” I walk over the trash can where a balled up piece of paper laid, “I am not your mother. Pick up after yourself.” I slam dunked the paper into the bin, making a show of it, hoping the point was crystal clear.  
  
“Scully. What is going on with you?”  
  
“You asked me what I was upset about, and I told you. And I am sick and tired of you flirting with all the secretaries.” I was sick of it too. Call it jealousy. Fine. But, he didn’t need to show off. It’s not a sport. “I’ve been cornered in the bathroom, on multiple occasions, by women asking if you’re single. They also ask if I would “mind” if they asked you on a date,” I used my air quotes. Truly, I was sick of it.  
  
“So, now you’re upset that I am trying to get a life? Are you jealous? Is it that time of the month? I am confused, Scully. Draw it out for me?”  
  
“Of course. Typical male. You’re going to call me jealous. And if it’s not that, than it has to be my period. Sometimes it’s neither, Mulder. Sometimes it’s you. You know, not everything has to be about you. Can’t we focus on me for five seconds?”  
  
“Scully, I put my DNA in a cup for you. I do not make everything about me.”  
  
If I thought I was mad before, I was entirely wrong. Mulder bringing the IVF to light, at work, was my undoing. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and my heart dropped to my stomach.  
  
“I knew it. I knew you’d throw it in my face. I’m leaving. Fix this expense report and then resubmit it. Maybe Jessi will give you her number, if you ask nicely.”  
  
“You’re forgetting one thing, Scully. I am your superior. You can fill that out.”  
  
I damn near took my gun out and shot the smug bastard. I never thought that Mulder would use his seniority over me. He always treated me like an equal. Well, not always. But, he’s never pulled rank on me before. I don’t think my heart ever felt this kind of emotion. I did as I was told though. I grabbed the file off of his desk, and pulled my hand away so quickly that it knocked over his fresh cup of coffee. And yes, it was intentional. It was that or I shoot him.  
  
I stormed out of the office and through the bull pen. People moved out of my way, and I got looks. There would be talk tomorrow. ‘Maybe they had a lovers spat. Maybe she caught him cheating on her. Maybe she finally had enough.’ I could only imagine what people thought of the two of us.  
  
  
I spent the rest of the day in the lab, knowing I’d get my ass reamed if I went home. But when the clock struck five, I left work like it was on fire. I was surprised Mulder didn’t try to find me . I did hear a lab intern on the phone. He looked over at me a couple times and whispered into the phone. I suspected it was Mulder calling to check on me. When I got home, I opened a beer. Flopping on the couch, I flipped through the channels on the television, but I couldn’t stop my mind. I couldn’t lower my blood pressure either.  
  
Pacing didn’t do me any favors. So, I pulled out the expense report from my bag, and decided to fix all of Mulder’s ‘mistakes.’ Whatever. Once I was done with that, I changed into my pajamas and felt like I had calmed down. Once I had time to think about today, I realized I had over reacted. I let my period get the best of me. I let this whole damn thing get the best of me.  
  
I promised Mulder I wouldn’t let the IVF get between the two of us, and it was already happening. I’d been the one being selfish today. I walked over to the phone to give him a call and apologize. But, I heard a knock at the door. Our special knock. Yes, we have a knock. I braced myself. I wasn’t sure if he was mad at me, or if he had come to the same conclusion that I had.  
  
I swung the door open, and I found that he had some bags in his hands. “Mulder, hi. I was just going to call you. What’s all this,” I gestured to his bags.

“Well,” he padded over to the kitchen counter. “I got some chocolate for you. I also picked up a bottle of wine. I stopped and picked up a couple movies too. I hope that’s okay,” he seemed sincere and timid. Was he afraid of me? I kind of enjoyed it. A guilty pleasure.  
  
“Why, though?”  
He smiled and cupped my face. He was taking a chance. If he’d been here an hour earlier and touched me, I would have decked him.  
  
“Scully, I didn’t mean anything that I said today. God, I still can’t believe I said it,” he apologized, with obvious regret in his eyes. I could see that he was upset too. His eyes told me as much.  
  
“I deserved it, Mulder. Why don’t we open that bottle of wine and go talk,” I suggested, grabbing the bottle of wine and walking to get us glasses from the cupboard.  
  
When I got to the living room, he had lit a fire and was sitting on the couch very awkwardly. He looked like a guy who was afraid his girlfriend was going to break up with him.  
  
“I am just going to come out with it and be honest with you, Mulder,” I began, sipping my wine for courage. “I started my period late last night. This is the first period since the failed IVF attempt.”  
  
“Scully,” he gasps, leaning forward and grabbing my hand, bringing my wrist to his lips.  
  
“I have been extra touchy. I know. I am still working through everything and I took my anger out on you. It was uncalled for and very immature of me. I can’t express to you how sorry I am.”  
  
“Scully, don’t be sorry. I just wish you would’ve told me.”

“Mulder, if I told you, you would’ve treated me with kid gloves. I don’t want to be pitied.”  
“It’s not pity, Scully. And I wouldn’t have treated you with kid gloves. I would’ve treated you like a friend. I would’ve been there for you.”  
  
I was feeling awfully guilty. It sucked when Mulder was right. It really was not my damn day. I sucked it up and admitted my defeat though. “You’re right, Mulder.”   
  
I felt a finger on my chin, lifting my head up. My eyes connected with Mulder’s. They were filled with compassion and love. Plausibly. Most plausibly. 

  
“Scully, I am upset with the results too. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. I had high hopes, too.”  
  
“Really,” a tear drop escaped, but was immediately wiped away by Mulder’s thumb.  
  
“Well, yeah. I didn’t really expect it to hurt. I mean, I would’ve hurt for you. But, this hurt feels different. It hits a little closer to home. It’s selfish of me.”  
  
I ducked my head, escaping into my wine glass. Our conversation was getting deep. These are the things we should have talked about before doing in vitro. We never talked about anything. There was just a bunch of assumptions, and yet not enough.  
  
“Scully, do you really feel all of those things you mentioned in the office today. It felt like there was a little kernel of truth in all of that rage.”  
  
I did rage too. I haven’t had a temper like that since I found out Mulder was undercover and I didn’t know about it. This rage was directed at Mulder this time. 

“Mulder, no. I think at one point, early on, I did. Not anymore, though. Things are different now. Although, I do still get cornered in the bathroom quite often.”  
We both made eye contact and laughed. I blushed, and Mulder beamed.  
  
“That makes me feel really good about myself, and like a jerk, all at the same time. How about the expense reports? Has my time run out? Do I need to start pulling my weight, because I can? I just didn’t realize that it bothered you. I figured you would’ve said something.”  
  
“It wouldn’t kill you to carry a little bit of the burden. But, no, it doesn’t bother me enough to bitch about it like I did today.”  
“Scully, I am sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t my equal. In fact, I always kind of thought you were above me.”  
  
I chuckled, giving his arm a slap. This was my favorite Mulder. The Mulder that flatters. I like this side of him. I brush off the innuendo a lot, but it secretly thrills me. I suspect that he has caught on. He’s no idiot.  
  
“Scully, I am just the muscle. I provide off the wall theories. Children could do what I do. But what you do, that takes talent and many years of schooling. I have a PhD. You have an MD. You do everything else, Scully. You bring quite a bit to the table.”  
  
“Mulder,” I said, my voice throaty. Was he getting to me? Was I enjoying this flattery? Damn hormones. “That’s not true. And, I feel I should probably apologize for knocking your coffee over. I didn’t mean to,” I lied.  
  
“Oh, please. You meant to do it, and we both know it. I saw it in your eyes.”  
  
“Well, maybe just a little bit,” I swooned, glad he wasn’t pissed off about that. Honestly, though, he deserved it.

“Well, I had it coming. I expected a swift kick to the face, but you’re a saint. So, I guess I am lucky it was just coffee. If you were a guy, I’d be in the ER right now.”  
  
“This is why I chose you, Mulder,” I blurted out, throwing my hand over my mouth. He took my wine glass and set it on the coffee table. Shit. I took it too far.  
  
“What do you mean, Scully?”  
  
Well, there was really no going back now. I might as well just be honest with him. He should know. I would want to know.  
  
“Let me just ask you a question,” he nodded, signaling me to proceed. “If I were to become pregnant, how involved would you want to be? I know it’s not really something we discussed.”  
  
“Easy. I would want to be all in. One hundred percent. This is you, Scully. I couldn’t just not be there. I’d miss you, first of all. I can’t go a day without seeing you. You can’t be that oblivious.” I shrugged. He was rather clingy. Point taken. “And I think it would destroy me to watch another man help you raise a child. It isn’t about my DNA. It’s about your DNA, Scully. I would do it, because it’s part of you. I thought I was pretty transparent.”  
  
It was exactly what I wanted to hear, and it was also exactly what I didn’t want to hear. It was a balm to my soul to hear Mulder commit to me and my potential child. But, it broke my heart that I couldn’t ever make it happen. I’d never get to see him hold my baby. Another tear drop escaped, but this one fell onto my lap. I couldn’t bring myself to look into Mulder’s eyes yet. The damn would break. I took a minute to catch my breath.  
  
“Mulder, I chose you because of that. Your morals exceed what I would have hoped for. I would have raised a child alone, happily. If you didn’t want to commit, I would have accepted that. But, a big part of me hoped you’d be around for it all. I just didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”  
  
“Me? Out of all the guys you have to choose from, you chose me? That is even better than the secretaries asking you about me. Nobody would ever believe it, so I can’t brag about it. But, at least I know.”  
  
I laughed. That’s another quality I love about Mulder. He always knows exactly how to make me laugh and what to say. He just knows. “There is nobody else that I would have asked. You’re a good man. I think navigating through parenthood with you would have been an adventure. It wouldn’t have been easy, but you would have made things better. This playful side of you, is exactly what would keep me sane.”

“We would’ve made a great team, Scully. We wouldn’t be parents of the year, but our child would have been loved. With you by my side, I can’t imagine there is anything we can’t do. Let’s not give up hope, Scully. We have other options.”  
  
  
“Mulder, I have no more options. This was my last chance. We have to accept that.”

“We could adopt, Scully. It’s not the same, but it’s an option.”

“Be real,” I demanded. Adoption was what married couples did. We weren’t even sleeping together.

“I just want you to have a baby, Scully.”

“I know, and that is very sweet of you. But, I don’t think either one of us is in that place right now. It’s a lot of work and there are a lot of rules and regulations to adoption.”

I had thought of adoption. There are tons of kids without mothers. I could happily love a child that wasn’t mine. But, I couldn’t even get custody of Emily. I am a single woman. My job is very demanding. I’ve never been in a relationship longer than one year. My chances are very slim.

“I know what you’re thinking, Scully,” he says, breaking me from my thoughts.

“I don’t think you do, Mulder.” At least I hoped he couldn’t read my mind.  
  
“The X-files doesn’t have to be my life forever. I know we aren’t in a relationship, but you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had. And you’re my person.” He was right, too. Mulder was also my longest relationship. Too bad we weren’t having sex.  


“What does that mean?”

“A person,” he asks. “Haven’t you ever heard of someone having a person?” I shook my head no. 

“Well, a ‘person’ is someone you call after you kill someone. They help you hide the body. Stuff like that.”  
  
“Mulder, that’s called an accomplice.”

“You get my drift. We’re practically married. Don’t deny it. And no, we don’t have sex. But, I hear that married couples also don’t have sex.”

I laughed. I also heard that married couples stopped having sex after a certain time frame. I didn’t understand it, but I was never married. I couldn’t imagine being married to Mulder and not wanting to do dirty things to him every night before bed. But, that was just me. And maybe some of the secretaries at work.  
  
“Mulder, weren’t you married?” I can’t believe I brought it up, but I did. He answered me very patiently too.

“Yes, if that’s what you want to call it. It was over before the ink dried.”

“Right,” I shrugged and whispered to myself. It was no secret that I didn’t like Diana Fowely.  


“Obviously, we don’t have to get into the logistics right now. I did bring you some chocolate, if you’re interested,” he smiled and winked. Damn his charms.  
“Half way home I realized that it was probably your period that had you so wound up.”  
  
I raised my eyebrow. We both know I’ve had a period before and never tore him a new ass hole.  
  
“And I am an ass sometimes,” we both laughed. Although, it’s not like I am perfect.

“Mulder, are you telling me that you can tell when I am on my period?” That terrified me a bit. I always thought I kept that sort of thing hidden. We work in a very male dominated area, and if I so much as said the word ‘period’, it was a step back for equality.  
  
“Yeah, it’s just little things, Scully. Nothing to be concerned about.”

“Mulder, how little?”

“Are you going to slap me, if I tell you?”

I raised an eyebrow. This was going to be embarrassing. “No. Go ahead. Tell me how you seem to know me so well.”  


“You just have a way about you. You don’t humor me as much as you usually do. You’re a smidge less susceptible to my charms. You spend more time in the bathroom. Sometimes your breasts are-.” He did a cupping motion with both hands near his pectoral area. “They’re fuller. You’re face loses that natural glow you have. And you don’t stick to your diet. Honestly, you eat like a guy. Plus, I see you popping a bunch of pills. And chocolate. You eat a lot of chocolate.”  
  
“Pamprin,” I confirmed with wonderment. This guy knew me. He really knew me. I didn’t even know these things about myself.

“Yeah. Pamprin. But it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Are you mad?”

“Mad? No, I am not mad. I am-I just-“I was stuttering. Perfect. “I didn’t realize you knew those things about me.”

“I notice you, Scully. If I notice anyone, it’s you. You’re an interesting creature. I like observing you. It’s fun. Sometimes I think I have your number, and then I find out how wrong I am. How do you think I got by when we were on desk duty?”  
  
I just nodded my head. Interesting. I am an FBI Agent and I had no idea my partner was practically stalking me. Okay, stalking is too harsh. I didn’t realize my partner was studying me. I looked over at him and he was watching me again. I gave him a loving smile. He reached for the wine bottle and poured us each another glass of merlot. He was being incredibly sweet and attentive.

“Mulder, I am sorry about today. I feel ridiculous. Everything I said…”

“Alright, how about I propose something. When you’re on your period, you get two out of jail free cards?”

“How do these things work?” I was curious. 

“Well, you can tell me to go piss off. You can bitch at me for whatever you want. Basically, you can bully me around without me saying shit.”

“Mulder, I don’t think I could do that. What would you get out of it?”

“Scully, you don’t have to bully me. But, you can. If you need to let it out, you can. And I am getting something out of it. My partner will be happier. Don’t tell me the build up doesn’t kill you a bit.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess letting it out would certainly help. I’d probably be less bitchy,” I laughed. It was the truth too. Sometimes Mulder got under my skin. Running to the bathroom to do a breathing exercise only did so much. 

“Plus, I get to keep my partner around,” he smiles, rubbing my shoulder.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, Mulder.”

“Yeah, but you’ll think about it less often.”  
We both smiled, knowing that sometimes I thought about it. We all thought about starting over one time or another. When push comes to shove though, I am not going anywhere. Mulder’s side is where I belong. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.

“Mulder, what do you think our baby would’ve been like?”  
  
TBC


	2. Chapter 2

He took a deep breath and pulled me close. I was now leaning my head onto his chest, listening to his heart beat. I’d never get tired of listening to that beat. 

“A couple times, I imagined a girl. I thought about how great it would be having two of you running around. But, then, I panicked. I don’t know if I could handle two of you,” he chuckled, looking down at me to gage my reaction. He gave me a warm smile to let me know he was teasing. “But, really, I saw us having a boy. I thought how great it would be, if he had your eyes and definitely your nose. He’d take after me in the height department, hopefully. I see him with dark hair though. He would’ve been amazing, Scully,” he said with such delight, I nearly sobbed. 

“Oh, Mulder. I thought about a boy, too. I imagined his eyes and nose would be mine,” I had to laugh at that. It was no joke that Mulder’s nose was a little large. “But he’d have your skin coloring and height. And I really saw him having your determination and heart. The way that you never give up. I’d want that quality for my child. I wouldn’t mind if he had your sense of humor, too. Girls like that kind of stuff.” 

We both sat there and thought to ourselves. My eyes were flooding. I know our hearts were broken. We were dreaming. We wouldn’t get our happy ending. Dreaming up a child was a recipe for heartbreak. We sat in silence for a few minutes, each taking in each other’s words.

“He’d be smart like you, Scully. He’d probably be sporty, but he’d grow up to be a doctor. He’d actually be a vet, no doubt. He would have your temper,” he said with absolute certainty. He was probably right too. My stubbornness ran deep. 

“Well, let’s not pretend that you don’t have any flaws, Mulder.” 

“No, I am not. I break the rules all the time, and I cause trouble everywhere I go. I don’t think that’d be hereditary though.”

"You’d be a good dad. You can still be a dad, if you wanted to. Your options aren’t exhausted,” I mentioned, with some sadness to my tone. I didn’t want my infertility to stop Mulder from having his own children. I’d understand. It’d hurt, but I would fully support him, in time.  
“Not without you, Scully.”  
“But-,” I interjected.  
“Not without you. I don’t want to do any of that without you. Okay. It wouldn’t be the same. We’re partners, Scully. In everything we do, were partners. Whenever you’re ready.” 

“Whenever I am ready,” I asked. I was confused, somewhat. What was I going to be ready for? Are we talking about what I think we are talking about? There’s no way to know without coming right out and asking. I’ve already exposed myself too much tonight, though. 

“You’ll know when you’re there, Scully. Just trust yourself. I’m not going anywhere.”

If Mulder trusts that I’ll know when I know, than I suppose I will know. I am almost certain I am getting close. There are a few more things that I need to work through. I am a scientist. I need my cold, hard facts. I don’t like change. And, I certainly don’t like making rash decisions. My end results have got to be spot on. There would be no going back. That thought alone terrified me. 

“Thank you for coming over tonight. I am feeling much better, Mulder.”

“Do you want me to leave,” he asked, not wanting to overstay his welcome. But, I couldn’t imagine being alone tonight. 

“Of course not. I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie and order some food. The take out menus are over there. Order for me. You know what I like, since you’re so observant,” I joked, but that statement had a little bit of truth to it.  
“See, we even sound like an old married couple. You telling me what to do and me obeying.”

I laughed, delighted. I didn’t know where this was going, but I liked it. This was my favorite Mulder. I wouldn’t trade him in for anything. 

“So, this is what the rest of my life will look like,” I smarted, feeling bold.

“I mean, pretty much.”

“Well, Mulder, I suppose I could do worse,” I sassed back. I have done worse. Mulder was far from perfect, but he loved me, and he’d never intentionally hurt me. He was my best friend.  
“Scully, you could have anyone you want. You most certainly could do better, but as long as you don’t figure out you're way out of my league, we should be fine.”

I know I turned about five shades of red. Damn him. “Thank you, Mulder. For everything.” 

“Always. How does Chinese sound? Are you thinking you need something spicy or sweet?” 

“I think sweet.”

“Two sweet and sour chickens coming up. I’ll even throw in some wantons, because it’s been a hard day. We can even watch Steel Magnolias, if you need it.”  
I walked up to him, grabbed his hand, and laced my fingers through his. A perfect fit. My tiny hand to his large hand always made me feel safe. Slipping my hand into his always settled me.  
“Mulder, you’re my person too.”  
He nodded, already knowing. I pressed my forehead to his chest and felt him place a kiss on my head. I’d never get over the fact that I was barren, but Mulder made it a little more bearable. God, I really wanted a baby with him. 

THE END  
RED


End file.
